The only thing we truly have total control over is our own choices: choices about the kind of parent we want to be, choices about how we exercise self-control in the face of chaos, choices about what works and what doesn’t. 

Wwe can shift our reality, shift our thoughts, beliefs, and mindset, our lives are truly epic quests.   It doesn’t always feel like we have many choices but we, in fact, do.  Take a step back.  Breath.  Put on a different pair of goggles and see that the sludge you may be slogging through is part of the adventure as long as we understand it’s not where we have to stay.  As long as we see life as a series of adventures – epic quests – from which we will learn epic insights, we are free to fail and free to fly.  It’s our choice.

Happiness is an emotion that comes and goes, just like sadness or any other emotion.  But joy is a state of BEING.  We can be joyful even when we screw it all up.  It takes a whole lot of practice.  It takes a whole lot of discipline.  It takes a whole lot of patience.  It takes a whole lot of support.  And, of course, it takes a whole lot of intentionality.

It takes just a few minutes of pause to begin to allow our rational brain to kick back in when we are angry or hurt. 

Why is it so hard to ask for help? I don’t think it used to be. In fact, in the past I don’t think we frequently had to ask.

When I taught parenting classes, I met a woman.  A woman whom I really liked.  She was witty, funny, smart and just the right amount of self-depreciating.  She engaged other participants in the class.  She was present, physically and emotionally, for each and every class.  She was tortured.

During a discussion on turning over more responsibility to your children, she disclosed her deepest, darkest secret – she still picked out her daughters’ outfits for them daily, right down to the hair clips.  She recognized and even whole-heartedly agreed that kids need to practice responsibility and good decision making BEFORE they have to make the really important ones.  Clothes were not important.  Until they were.  And they were.  To her.  And she just couldn’t let it go.

At the intersection of destination and desire is joy, satisfaction, growth and understanding. The intersection can also include pain and regret, hopefully with a large side dish of forgiveness and resilience as well.

Resilience is the shield that helps us come out on the other side of adversity scarred, battle-tested yet in a better place; in a place of transformation. Resilience is what paves the way for growth.

Perseverance. One could argue that all of life is perseverance. But I don’t want to “just” persevere. I want to find the joy in the struggle, the hard work of living my calling and doing what I love. No. That’s not entirely true. What I really want to do right now is sit down on the couch and binge watch Leverage on Netflix for the next 24 to 72 hours and just forget all about this pesky notion of perseverance.

I have a black thumb. Seriously. Much to my chagrin, I cannot successfully grow ANYTHING. I want to be able to grow things so occasionally I look up possibilities for something that might break my bad luck. I came across some information that made me think.