I don’t wanna.  That’s the way I’ve been feeling the past couple of days.  Ok, past couple of weeks really, but more intensely the last couple of days.  It’s the home stretch for the end of the school year so maybe that’s rubbing off a little from my kids.  It’s also the beginning of summer, which in the sunny Southwest is a time for hibernation and managing the constant sogginess of waistbands and armpits. But mostly it’s because momentum, the Big Mo, is waning.

After taking the leap to go “all in” on my dream of working by myself for myself, there was a flurry of activity that felt like forward progress.  It WAS forward progress.  Getting a business name, a federal ID number, setting up blogs and websites, brainstorming and dreaming all the things this venture could be.  Now it’s time to do the work.  2016 ended with a fair amount of momentum moving me through the first quarter of 2017.  Just like taking a long bike ride, I find myself at the bottom of an incline needing to harness the energy to get the pedals pumping again to get to the next summit.

Perseverance.  One could argue that all of life is perseverance.  But I don’t want to “just” persevere.  I want to find the joy in the struggle, the hard work of living my calling and doing what I love.   No.  That’s not entirely true.  What I really want to do right now is sit down on the couch and binge watch Leverage on Netflix for the next 24 to 72 hours and just forget all about this pesky notion of perseverance. 

But I can’t.  I won’t.  I choose not to.  Because how could I ever find a good enough explanation to describe to my kids, one highly observant teenager and a too-smart-for-her-and-my-own-good pre-teen, why it’s OK for me to do the very thing I have been on my soap box about for the past….oh…hundred years?  100 kid years, that is. 

Perseverance.  Sometimes you gotta do what you don’t wanna do.  I read something quite a while back that I use on my kids to help them come to terms with the “don’t wanna’s”.  I wish I could find the source but, alas, that information is long gone from the memory banks.  It goes something like this, “If you do what you have to do when you have to do it, then you get to do what you want to do when you want to do it.”  And I wanna do a lot.  I want THEM to do a lot.  I want them to find value within the mundane, in as much as it helps them experience the vibrancy that life has to offer.  It opens more choices if we manage the “don’t wannas” rather than letting the don’t wannas manage us. 

So I sat down and wrote, and sent the emails I didn’t want to write and send, and I managed to get a good 30 minutes of healthy activity in today.  I persevered beyond the leftover Easter basket candy and had a healthful breakfast.  And tonight, I am going to plop myself down on the couch and binge watch Leverage because as much as my inner demons fought me, I created space to allow the don’t wannas to hang around while perseverance kicked their butts.

Embrace Weakness

“The most powerful [people] don’t conquer their dysfunctions, quirks and potentially embarrassing insecurities.  They seamlessly integrate them to make an impact on the world.”  -Peter Bregman, 18 Minutes:  Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done

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We spend so much time, money and energy trying to improve ourselves.  The beginning of every new year ushers in a business boom for the self-help, exercise, and fitness industries.  Improvement efforts – both internal and external – are noble efforts indeed.  If we are going to invest our hard-earned money, our limited time and our finite energy into an endeavor, shouldn’t we do our due diligence to make sure it is worth that trifecta of investment?

No one likes to explore weakness. We are conditioned at a very young age to value strengths, focus on what we’re good at, highlight our talents.  Much like we see the upside of both day and night, we must explore the upside of both our weaknesses AND our strengths.  Not with the intention of “strengthening” our weaknesses…there’s a boatload of research out there that tells us how ineffective that is (click here for research from Marcus Buckingham, pioneer of strengths-based management).  We must explore our weaknesses with the mindset of USING them to create greater success rather than avoiding them on the road to success.

If we only identify our weaknesses and focus on eliminating them (or minimizing them), we might just be trying to change the very thing that will bring us the happiness we so desperately crave.  Identifying a part of ourselves and labeling it “wrong” or “bad” creates a black hole in our being that subconsciously nags at our sense of wellness and worthiness.  It’s the place where the “yea, but” lives.  Every success, every compliment is colored a little greyer because of that place where we hide our weaknesses.

I am a notorious procrastinator.  At least that’s how I used to talk about myself.  Labeling myself lazy, unfocused, wishy-washy.  Until, in an effort to eliminate my weakness, I read a bunch on procrastination. Of course there’s all the stuff on reducing distractions like turning off wifi, closing your office door, minimize “necessary” distractions, schedule time blocks to do emails and answer calls…I could go on!  I'm not saying these don't work.  It wasn't until I started looking deeper at the cause of my procrastination, why I couldn’t seem to pull the trigger sometimes, that things started to make more sense.  Sure, I found some opportunities to be effective but what I also found was that procrastination is my superpower too. 

I am no longer a "lazy, unfocused, wishy-washy procrastinator."  I am a deep thinker. Absolutely there is a danger of falling into the “paralysis by analysis” trap so I make sure I set myself up for successful procrastination.  It was a loooong adjustment to ensure (i.e. REMEMBER) to schedule more time for certain tasks or meetings.  It’s a bit of a pain but I know when I meet with someone or present in front of a group, I need to schedule some rumination time.  It is absolutely mission critical to my endeavors.  It (gasp!) ADDS MORE TIME to my day, minutes-wise at least.  BUT!  It SAVES so many more hours and days by focusing my “procrastination” i.e. processing/rumination time, into convenient and relevant time slots.  If I choose not to do it purposefully, you can bet I will do it subconsciously.  Then NOTHING gets done and I fall into the death spiral of woulda-coulda-shoulda.

An interesting and critical byproduct of embracing this weakness and utilizing it to create more productivity is that I have gotten 100% better at making decisions.  Knowing when to say "no" has created greater satisfaction and success, even saying "no" to projects I would love, love, love to say "yes" to.